What a twat D. H. Lawrence was

I've been reading a book about D. H. Lawrence who wrote about sex and lived in Zennor. I can't believe someone that famous would bother living in Zennor, but apparently his wife was German and very fat and quite well known around St Ives for wearing really brightly coloured stockings and waving at zepplins when she went shopping (at the Co-op I suppose), and as this was during the war they probably couldn't get away with living anywhere else. She was quite famous in her own right for having 1) been a cousin of the famous Baron von Richtofen, the 'Bloody Red Baron', who was a German communist fighter pilot, 2) for being very fat and smoking all the time and 3) for waving at zepplins. DHL (as he liked to call himself) was thin, had a beard and a whiny voice and was from Nottingham. She called him Lorenzo except in a German accent. Sounds like an ideal couple, ha ha, not, because they used to fight like Itchy and Scratchy and chase each other round the kitchen table and hit each other over the head with frying pans.

They lived in Zennor for two years trying not to mention the war and singing Hebridean songs round the piano until they got kicked out for singing rubbish, having cameras in their rucksacks concealed in loaves of bread and waving at zeppelins. Believe it. And I'm expected to write something meaningful about these tossers by the time I go back to school next week.

I've got my room back at least. And I found a pubic hair on the soap in the shower which might have been Gemma's or Jade's. What would DHL have made of that?