What to Do in St Ives on a Pissy Wet October Half Term Week

First day of October half term, town's heaving as usual with emmets despite the fact that it's been raining all day. Here is my guide to What to Do in St Ives on a Pissy Wet October Half Term Week.

1. Wear shorts just like it was the summer - you're on holiday after all!
2. Don't forget the crocs, ideal for walking the slippery wet granite pavements.
3. Of course you can go crabbing in October.
4. Dogs are allowed on the beaches now, but make sure when they shit you cover it up, especially if there are surfers on the beach who are likely to stand in it.
5. Don't miss the Damien Hirst pickled unicorn at the Tate, and ask about their free admission to people wearing wetsuits
6. There's nothing incongruous about drinking hot chocolate whilst sitting out on the terrace of the Porthmeor beach cafe in a Hawaiian shirt.
7. Why not light a driftwood fire on the beach to keep yourself warm?
8. Is John Dory in season? Well, you could ask.
9. Visit one of St Ives' two specialist chocolate shops and ask Why?
10. Remember, Fore Street is now open to traffic from both directions.
11. Why not have your own Soggy the Bear bonfire?