Dead Shark Terror

Apart from Trev, there was another shark cruising St Ives last week. Well I say cruising, this one wasn't exactly cruising, it was more bobbing, in that it was dead. Mind you, even dead it was a pretty impressive twelve feet long, although being a thresher shark half of that was its tail. They 're not called thresher sharks because they hang around outside off licences, but on account of this massive long thin tail that's supposed to be able to break your arm with one swipe, although they say that about swans don't they, so it's probably a bit of an urban myth. Anyway this one caused a massive commotion in the local press because it was found by a late -holidaying emmet from Lincolnshire who spotted in bobbing around in the sea and WADED IN FULLY DRESSED to pull it out, not knowing what it was, and then a local surfer saw it and kakked himself because he recognised it was a shark. The headline in the local press was something like 'Surfer menaced by massive shark', which was stretching things a bit really, in that the shark was 1) dead and 2) has a mouth the size and shape of a hen's arsehole.