Sunny side up

My dad's keeping me out of the way even more the usual until my hair grows back, he says its so I don't put the GUESTS off their breakfasts, as if I was one of those people off of The Spa of Embarrassing Bodies. That's all very well, but he doesn't seem to mind me cooking their bloody breakfasts for them as long as I do it out of sight. I don't know why he doesn't just put a bag over my head and have done. While I was in my coma, Mum got a new job that involves her being out at night a lot, not that she used to put herself out with the GUESTS all that much, but it means I end up having to cook the breakfasts most of the time, and plate them up for dad to take them through into the dining room.

I have decided to be a vegan because one day last week in a box of eggs from the Co-op I found a feather stuck to an egg with a blob of hen shit, and this very graphically brought home to me where eggs come from. Because I am now vegan, this morning I was experimenting with a new way of breaking eggs so that I didn't have to touch them with my hands. I won't go into details because to be honest while it was extrememly effective as a way of cracking eggs, it was pretty shit really, because it broke the yolks of most of them as well, resulting in me using 36 eggs for 9 breakfasts. Would you believe it, after all that one of the picky bloody emmets just ate the whites of her eggs and left both her yolks on her plate.