A Balanced Opinion

There's a fish and chip shop near where I live called The Balancing Eel. When you go through the door there are steps in front of you with a railing down the middle. The idea is that you queue up one side and come down the other when you've got your fish and chips so that all the people in the queue can smell them and know it's worthwhile carrying on waiting in the queue, which can sometimes be well long. I've seen it stretch from the counter, down the steps to the door, and out of the door down the hill as far as the slipway on the Wharf. Perhaps this is where the Balancing Eel gets its name from, because the queue looks a bit like an eel that has slithered out of the sea, with its neck going up the steps and its head resting on the counter.

Of course the queue is only ever this long during the summer when the emmets are in town. If you're a local, you aren't going to queue for your fish and chips, no matter how good they are, as if you were an emmet what you do is get to time it so that you aren't hanging around, and can just go in and ask for what you want. In practice, this often means timing it so that you go in just before they shut, so that you run the risk of them having nothing left. But sometimes if you go in just as they're cleaning down for the night you can get extra chips or even an extra bit of broken cod slipped into your parcel for nothing. So that's why I sometimes find myself walking home from the Balancing Eel with a warm parcel of fish and chips in one hand and the warm metallic smell of vinegar and chip fat on my fingers, going the long way round through Norway Place and along Back Road West, so that I can finish them off before I get home. If you go the most direct route home, it takes about half a minute to get to ours from the 'Eel, but if you want to finish off your fish and chips before you get home, and you go the long way round, it can take as long as you like.

Now, here's a tip for all you emmets. If you get your fish and chips from the Balancing Eel, why not walk down to the Wharf and sit and eat them on one of the benches there? There's nothing we locals like more than seeing you sharing your fish and chips with our seagulls!