I knew it was only a matter of time, but no matter how much you believe in yourself, the world has a way of bludgeoning your self-esteem and self-confidence in a million little ways on a daily basis. Believe me, coming home every day not knowing whether you're going to find all your stuff in a bin bag on the landing because some GUESTS are in your bedroom, and having to sleep in the attic, is not good for your self-esteem. Anne Frank is not a good teenage role model.
My school once did a production of The Diary of Anne Frank for the school play. The head of English (who was a complete lovey tosser) directed it, and didn't he just love ordering all these kids in Nazi uniforms around? Anyway on the opening night, I swear, I was in the audience (Mr Cox has begged me to be Anne's brother, but I'd refused to be in it, basically because I'd got it mixed up with The Sound of Music, and I didn't want to sing) and when the Nazis first come on the stage somebody at the back shouted She's in the attic! which spoiled the tension a bit.
Anyway, enough of Anne Frank (no disrespect to the victims of the Holocaust). But you would think they'd have heard her through the floor banging away on that typewriter wouldn't you? Today of course she'd be blogging or on facebook, but whether it would have had the same impact on generations of school kids reading The Blog of Anne Frank I don't know, and a typical facebook entry might have read: 'Nzis R sURchng 4 me dwnsrs. Ditnt fnd me. Not goin out 2nite. lol'
I mention this because I not only have a blog, but a facebook page as well now. I set it up a few weeks ago to try to get more people reading my blog. I've got more than 400 friends already, but the comment I get most often is Who the hell is jednbreakfast? It's weird what people ask you. Like someone asked if I was Nigerian, because my name was Jed Nbreakfast. Another one asked if my face was disfigured and that was why I didn't have it on my profile photo. Mind you, my profile photo's not that revealing to be fair, for obvious reasons. I'm sticking my neck out more than a bit with this blog, cos if my mum and dad ever found out I was writing it they'd be well pissed off with me dissing their B&B. And obviously if any of their GUESTS found their way to it they might recognise themselves and not be very happy either. I've had a few people ask me what my mum and dad's B&B's called, as if I'm going to tell them. I can't understand why, I mean, do they think it might be a good place to stay? I imagine not.
Anyway, this morning before school I went to the Co-op, which was pretty quiet this morning given that all of the emmets have gone home and the rain was bouncing down like javelins, and I had a hole in my shoe, not that that had any effect on why the Co-op was quiet. Just inside the door on the right they keep all the papers and magazines, and I usually have a quick look at the front of the papers as I go in, but avoid the magazines because mostly they all have photos of Jordan or Cheryl Cole on the front and I can't stand either of them. But check out the cover of Heat! this week - JEDMANIA is official, apparently. OK, turns out that the JED that is the focus of this MANIA is a pair of tintin-haired geeks who can't sing and can't dance, from some telly X-thing with Cheryl Cole in it, but WTH, as we say in facebookland, JEDMANIA is here. If it says so in Heat! it must be true. How good was that for my self-esteem? What did I care that my shoe squelched like Squidward Tentacles with every step all the way down to the milk aisle and back to the checkout? I stepped outside bathed in the spotlight of JEDMANIA. The absence of paparazzi could only be due to the heavy rain.
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